"Holiday Road"

It has always interested me how we as people can change so much, just by changing the people we are around, or the situation we are put in.  For instance there is the way a lot of us tend to digress around family.  We can work so hard on changing who we are, and overcoming our shortcomings, but then we get around family, and we find ourselves transported back to childhood.  There are other people we get around, and we just seem to always have a great time with them, even if we are just doing laundry. The same thing can apply to situations and places.  How we are at work, may be totally different then how we are at home.  When I was going through the acting program at SBCC and later in grad school at Cal Arts, I had to become a caricature myself, to overcome my own shyness and phobias about being around a lot of people. Holidays can also be events that allow us to be someone else, in the case of Halloween, we are literally allowed to be someone else.  At Thanksgiving we reflect on all the things we have to be thankful for, and enjoy family.  Christmas is a time of giving and spreading cheer.  All of these holidays, and all the other holidays mean something different to all of us, and when we shift into that “mood” also depends on the person.  I’m sure we have all heard people say “I am just not in the Christmas Spirit this year”.  Like people and places, these holidays can shift our personalities, and alter our perception of life.  Some of the alterations can be for the better, but some can be for the worst.  Certainly for those who lost people close to them, the holidays can be a cruel reminder of those losses. 


For Holden, the issues are, as is typical with him, different.  Holden doesn’t understand why these holidays are only at specific times.  The other day he wanted to go trick or treating, in the middle of March.  I explained to him it wasn’t time for trick or treating, and showed him on the calendar where Halloween is on the calendar.  He has learned about the days of the week, months and time in general at school, but I think it remains a fairly abstract concept to him.  He often asks for “Ten more minutes” when it is time for him to end an activity, or go to bed.  His sense of time in terms of ten minutes is actually pretty accurate,  but judging days, weeks or months is, I think, very hard for him to perceive.  He has asked for presents, when he sees a box in a closet, because he knows that at some abstract time of the year he is given lots of presents in boxes.  He also gets taught about these holidays at school, and often comes home with art that represents these holidays, like decorated eggs for Easter.  


Typically what happens though, is that he wants to continue the activity all year around.  After decorating hard boiled eggs yesterday, he will want to decorate eggs every time we make hard boiled eggs, which is one of his favorite foods.  He loves to peel his own egg and eat it.  I always make him an extra egg just for him, when I boil eggs for egg salad.  So it confuses him to have hard boiled eggs he can’t eat right away.  Likewise he doesn't understand why he can’t go trick or treating all year around, why there are no presents for him all year around, why he doesn’t get sung happy birthday to him everyday, and why he doesn’t get to go to school for weeks at a time.


There is a part of me that thinks he is right.  Why do we only reserve special days for certain activities.  Shouldn’t we be giving all year around, shouldn’t we be thankful all year around, shouldn’t we be allowed to walk around dressed up like a pirate, because we feel like a pirate today.  Like Ebenezer Scrooge, who proclaims “I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me.”  So I will help Holden celebrate his 364 unbirthdays, and allow him to dress in a dress if he feels like it.  I don’t think I can allow him to go trick or treating in March, but I don’t think I will over celebrate holidays, but rather allow him to “Keep [the holidays] all the year, [and] live in the past, the present, and the future.”  So happy Easter to all of those that celebrate it, but don’t be surprised if you are on my street if you see Holden dressed up as Sponge Bob this Easter, or if he rings your doorbell and yells “Trick or Treat”.  He loves like it is Christmas every day, so the hell if I am going to stop him enjoying the rest of the holidays all year around.