There are these moments in life, where everything seems to shift. Sometimes they are gradual shifts, over time, and sometimes they are violent shifts that happen in a moment. Failed marriages are usually gradual shifts over time. Where things were fine in the beginning, than at some undefined moment in life, they started to not be fine. In the beginning it seems like all the problems are situational, and things will get better as the situations improve, but they never do. What starts as a few bad moments, in an otherwise fine relationship, becomes few good moments, in an otherwise bad relationship. Once the communication fails, it spirals out of control, like a jet in a flat spin. Violent shifts can be things like a death in the family, or a severe injury that leaves you paralyzed, or maybe something good like winning the lottery, or graduating college. For the most part life is full of varying forms of gradual and violent shifts. Often, there can be several gradual shifts that are unrelated, but result in a much bigger shift. Certainly these shifts can be positive or negative.
I became aware of a major shift in my life recently. I was talking to a former co-worker, and he was telling me about how bad of a month my old workplace had. I need to explain that I worked as a back counter parts tech at a Toyota Dealership. In that position we were paid 100% commision. You can imagine how the economy, and the scare that Toyota’s were defective and accelerated on their own (in fact, the NTSB cleared Toyota of every case, siting user error, derived from black box information. Yes, new cars have a black box, like an airplane, it’s built into the main engine computer) impacted our paychecks. On top of that, we all received pay cuts. So my ex-coworker was relating that they had just had one of the worst months since he started working there. The frustrating part about these months, is that we were so understaffed, that even on these horrible months, you quite often still worked your butt off. As I was empathizing with him, I realized just how fortunate I am to be out of that situation. I jokingly told him that he should move to Santa Barbara also, to which he replied, not all of us are able to up and move like I did, leave everything behind, and make it work. I expressed that I was indeed very fortunate. He then said “So no more unhappy Jonas?” to which I could only truthfully answer one answer, “Nope”.
The shift has been very gradual, and hard to notice, since it is a positive shift. I don’t know why we notice negative things so much easier than we notice positive, it should be the other way around, but I guess that is human nature. None the less, it has shifted, and “unhappy Jonas” is gone. I miss some of my friends, two in particular, a Koalaphant, and the other half of “Messenger”, but all in all life has gradually improved a lot. Certainly Holden hasn’t miraculously been cured of autism, and Zane hasn’t suddenly decided he loves school, and can’t wait to go everyday, but these are facts of life that I accept. Nothing in life is idyllic, that’s only in the movies. As is often the case, our perspective on events makes a huge difference too. We can choose to perceive everything in a positive or negative light. It is always easier to view things as positive, when life is positive. So as I empathize for my ex-coworker for the negative that he will have to endure, in a workplace that is at best hostile, I thank him for reminding me that there was an “Unhappy Jonas” and that he is all but a memory. For a few hours today I was about as giddy as I get, I blamed it on the Monster I had just drank, but I know the truth. The truth is I was thinking that I don’t miss “Unhappy Jonas” one bit, and I love being just Jonas again.
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