"A Man's Gotta Do"

Zane is a very energetic and thoughtful child.  Sometimes his enthusiasm is a little too much for the given circumstance.  He tends to speak everything he thinks.  I am trying to teach him to filter his thoughts, and decide with certain thoughts are really worth speaking.  I think he would probably naturally reach this point on his own, however he gets himself in trouble at school for “speaking out”, in other words, not raising his hand and waiting to be called on.  Also, he tends to ask inappropriate questions, nothing bad, but in the middle of history lessons the teacher may pause and ask if anyone has any questions, and Zane will ask what they are doing for P.E. after lunch.  Not really what the teacher had in mind for “any questions?”.  I really struggle with this though, because I don’t want him to not be enthusiastic about learning and sharing his thoughts, but I would like him to learn when it is appropriate.  Sometimes Holden’s therapist will be talking to me and Zane walks up and interrupts us to show me his newest Lego creation.  I want to see his creation, but it could wait till the therapist has left.  


There is also another reason I have trouble with this issue.  I was just as bad as a child.  I used to forget my train of thought really easy as a child, and if I didn’t say what I was thinking right at that moment, it was gone.  It was very frustrating for me as a child, and my mom would let me get away with interrupting her, knowing if I didn’t I would forget and get very upset.  I had to make an effort as a preteen to stop myself from interrupting people when they would speak to me, hell I still have to make an effort to not interrupt people while they are talking to me.  This sometimes makes it hard for me to express to Zane that he is doing these things, because I am being hypocritical in doing so.  The only real difference, is my interruptions are for things on subject, not random thoughts drifting through my head.  However, even in that respect I still have some issues.


I have my degree in music, and honestly love music.  I love every aspect of music, song structure, melody, harmony, lyric if it is a song with lyric.  In fact I love music so much, that it has become a bit of a hazard for me.  When ever I am speaking to someone, what they are saying to me often reminds me of lyrics.  At the most inappropriate times I have had people remind me of lyrics, and not been able to hide my internal thoughts.  In other words I could be fighting with my ex-wife, when we were still together, and have her say something that totally reminds me of a lyric, and I can’t help but smile.  Trust me this has happened at very inopportune moments.  Imagine being in a heated argument and all of a sudden I start smiling, the opportunity to misconstrue that action is very great, and trying to explain the source of the smile sounds like an excuse.  It drives Zane crazy too, when every time he says something to me I start singing a song in response.  Sometimes he can’t believe it’s a real lyric, as I am notorious for making my own lyrics to existing songs, but usually they are real lyrics to real songs.  Again, if he is upset, or mad, or whatever, and trying to express something to me, it can be quite annoying to get a song back for his efforts.


So once again, who am I to tell him that he needs to be more appropriate when if he asks me if he can go for a bike ride, I start singing “Bicycles” to him.  Or he tries to tell me he had a bad day, and I start singing “Had a Bad Day”.  When he asks me for help on his homework, I start sing “Help, I need somebody”. One of my friends, who frequently reads this blog, told me I should have my own reality TV show.  She was basing that on parenting Holden, and all the things that come up as a result.  The funny thing is, I think some of the more “entertaining” stuff may come from the Nuero-Typical people living in the house, not Holden.  


Despite my own issues, which are many, I still need to parent Zane the best I can, and do what is best for him.  Even if I have to be a bit of a hypocrite.  I don’t like being a hypocrite, but I also don’t like holding the garbage can for Holden when he is sick, but sometimes you got to do what you got to do.  Cut to Jonas singing “A man’s gotta do, what a man’s gotta do” from Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Horrible's_Sing-Along_Blog).  Stage direction: Lights dim, and the curtain drops on another blog.