"Birthday"

Last Sunday I took Zane to what he said was “The best day of my life so far!”  We had a very fun day, that was very special.  Before I get too far into the story of our day I have to give a little background information to my newer readers.  Before I had kids, I had the distinct pleasure of working for the band Toad The Wet Sprocket, up until the day they broke up as a band.  I worked for them throughout the nineties, starting with a concert I promoted for them in 1991 for Fear, and ending with being one of their guitar techs on the Coil tour in 1997 through 1998.  I even worked a few days loading gear into a studio when they were going to start making their next record. . .  a record that ended up being put on hold for something like 17 years, because the band broke-up.  For those of you who follow Toad, that  break-up ended officially a few years ago, and unofficial even earlier.  When they started touring again, I was able to go back out on the road with them for some of their tours.  As Holden got older, it became more and more difficult to get away.  As Toad got closer to releasing their new CD, their tours were getting longer and longer.  Eventually they had some personnel changes, and they didn’t need me anymore.  Honestly I had become a huge pain in the butt anyway, because it would take me so long to commit to a tour, because I had to make sure Holden was taken care of back at home.  However, I have maintained a good friendship with the guys in the band, who happen to be among the sweetest humans alive.

So, last Sunday Zane and I had a full schedule for the day.  First we were going to stop by a very old friend of mines house, for a birthday party/house leaving party.  This friend is a touring musician himself, and for years I always hoped we would run into each other on the road.  We had some really close misses, but it never happened.  So when he invited me to his party, I decided to take Zane and go.  It was SO great to see this old friend, and his party was full of musicians jamming music.  Zane and I would have had so much fun hanging out at this party all night, but we had to leave after just over an hour, to head to our next adventure of the day.

Toad was ending an over 2 month long tour with the Counting Crows at the Greek Theater in Los Angeles.  The band was nice enough to provide me with passes for the show.  Zane and I got to watch the whole show from the side of stage, then hang out backstage, and latter on the tour bus.  My whole reason for telling you all this, believe it or not, is not to brag, but rather to express how incredibly Zane handled himself.  At both the party and the concert.  As I have stated in previous blogs, Zane is really into music, and plays a few instruments himself.  He was so comfortable sitting back and soaking in the music at the party.  At the concert, he had a great time, and honestly conducted himself better than some adults I have taken backstage at shows.  It wasn’t his first show. On his ninth birthday I worked a Toad show at Pershing Square in Los Angeles, and brought Zane along.  He had handled himself quite well that day as well, but he admitted that this one was a lot more awe inspiring of a venue, than the Pershing Square show, which was basically in a park.  I would love to take credit for how great Zane is, but in truth, I honestly haven’t been able to focus on Zane as much as I could have, owing to Holden.  I have always made it a point to spend time with Zane.  While we lived in Escondido, and I worked a regular 9-5 job, I had hired a nanny to watch the boys while I was at work. I paid for an extra 4 hours every week, so I could take Zane out, while she watch Holden.  Now that his mother and I live in the same area, I take Zane for a whole day every Saturday, and she takes him for the whole day every Sunday, without his little brother.  I have always felt that this is really important for Zane.  As I said though, I can’t always give him my attention.  I already told this story on the blog, but once I was helping Zane with his homework, we were at the kitchen table, and Holden was in the kitchen with us.  He took a dryer sheet and put it in the toaster over.  I heard him twist the power button/timer on the toaster oven, and immediately got up to check on him.  The dry sheet had slipped through the grill and landed on the heat element and had already burst into flames, just in the time it took me to walk from the kitchen table to the kitchen counter some 10 feet away.  So even when I am focusing on Zane, I have to stay focused on Holden, and can’t completely focus on Zane.  None the less, Zane is a damn cool kid.  He is happy, and communicates well with me and his mother.  He loves music, likes to write stories, and loves anime and video games.  He has his own ideas and ideals, a quirky sense of style, and loves strange things.  He is also a moody teenager from time to time, and pushes his limits.  All and all though, he is a damn good kid.  I am very proud of the person he is growing into.  As he becomes a teenager today, I hope that these formidable years go well for him.  I hope we can stay as close as we are, and have our special bond last through his teen years, and into adulthood.  

Zane has said on multiple occasions that he feels lucky to have a father like me, I don’t really know what he means by that, but I can tell him, I feel damn lucky to have a son like him.  Whenever you ask Zane about his life, he always laments that his parents aren’t together, and that his brother has autism, but then he gets this little grin on his face and expresses how our unconventional life seems like a lot more fun than other peoples conventional lives.  I have to agree!  We may not be your standard nuclear family, but we have a lot of fun in an unconventional way.  You won’t see us winning any family of the year contest, but you might very well hear us singing at the top of our lungs, driving around town, or jamming music together, or maybe even backstage at a concert.

(p.s. the title “Birthday” refers to the beatles song.)