Monday, October 3, 2011

Can you say O.C.D.? (part 2)



After reading “Can you say OCD?” a dear friend of mine expressed how she has a lot of those tendencies.  In reality, I think a lot of us do.  I am terrible!  I feel like Sean Penn’s character from “I am Sam”, a great movie by the way.  At work I am very “particular” about how I do things, and how things are laid out.  When things have a place, and they are not in their place, that can be quite disturbing to me.  All the hangers in my closet go the same direction, and if I can, I like the color of the hanger to match the garment (whack job right?).  I don’t go out of my way on this one, and as most of my wardrobe is black, it’s pretty easy anyway.  However, there are things that don’t bother me at all, like what color hanger I use on the boys clothes.  I can obsessively pick up after the boys all over the house, but hate cleaning the bathroom.  Holden is the same as me.  He can play in mud, and have dirty hands, without any need or desire to clean them.  Somethings have a spot for Holden, and some don’t.  So is Holden actually OCD? Am I? Is my friend?  I seriously doubt it.  They are just little quarks that we all have.  Zane used to have all kinds of things when he was little.  If he touched his left knee, he had to touch his right knee.  If he rubbed his right eye, then he had to rub the left eye.  He used to have this little giggle that randomly came out, and had nothing to do with anything funny happening.  He eventually grew out of all of those things.  I think myself, and all of those concerned with Holden’s well being, have him under such a microscope, that everything becomes an issue.  There is no question that Holden is autistic, but is he really A.D.H.D.? Zane’s doctor wanted to label Zane A.D.H.D. when he was in preschool.  Just last week Zane read an abridged kids version of  Mary Shelley’s “Frankenstein” in one day.  Abridged or not, it was still over one hundred pages, does that sound like the activities of an A.D.H.D. kid?  Holden is approaching the age where Zane really started to gain focus. He already demonstrates the ability to stay on certain tasks for prolonged amounts of time.  The risk with Holden is that he is under such a microscope, that people are wanting to medicate him already.  He is only six years old, hyper activity in a six year old doesn’t sound that unusual to me.  

Yes, Holden has some definite OCD tendencies, but then so do a lot of us.  Yes, Holden has trouble staying on task, and sitting still, but again, I know a lot of adults that fit that description, let alone kids.  Would either of these things be more then a side note on a report card if Holden were not autistic?  Deciding when to put the microscope away is a constant challenge of raising an autistic child.  Knowing when to enforce things that COULD be a behaviour, but might just be a six year old, being a six year old.  Would any of us do any better when placed under a microscope?  I can tell you right now, they might have a padded room waiting for me, if I were put under that scrutiny.  I was at Fry’s with the boys the other day, Holden is happily perched on my shoulders, singing to himself as he often does.  Zane is chatting away about all the things that go through his  brilliant midsized mind (can’t say little anymore, my baby boy is growing up).  Then we get in line, and I am surrounded by people.  All the conversations start blurring together,  with the music over the intercom, there are several different videos playing in the video section, and I am in a sonic hell.  I feel closed in on, with people accidentally bumping me, and I am acutely aware of every odder, good or bad.  I ask Zane if he can stop talking to me till we are outside, so I can focus on not having an anxiety attack, and running out of the place screaming, from what?  Sensory over load!  Autistic people are said to suffer from sensory over load.  Yes, Holden is autistic, and he will spend the rest of his life trying to over come this disability, but as for all the “with’s”, with ADHD, with OCD, I just don’t know! Maybe we need a control group,  any volunteers to be placed under the microscope for a while?
 


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