"Labyrinth"

Occupational hazards can be associated with probably every job there is.  My father is a retired plumber.  When he was an apprentice they had plumbing and heating school.  Many of the people my father went to school with, who chose heating as their career, succumbed to asbestosis due to the asbestos in early insulation.  At that time people didn’t realise the effects of long term exposure to asbestos.  My father had hip replacement surgery that I am sure his years as a journeyman plumber contributed to.  My old manager had surgery for carpal tunnel syndrome on both hands.  When I was in high school, I worked at Kmart, I remember a security guard getting a major back injury while dealing with a shoplifter that tried to attack his boss.  Certainly I could go on and on with all the occupational hazards that jobs can create.  Some of these hazards can happen suddenly, like when a line worker gets electrocuted.  Some take much longer, like asbestos exposure in insulation or break dust for older mechanics, before asbestos was made illegal for automotive use.  Medical workers deal with all kinds of occupational hazards in their daily lives of trying to help people.  Then there are the emotional occupational hazards of certain jobs, high suicide rates, or the stress of a Wall Street trader.  Every career probably has some form of occupational hazard.  Some are obvious, like a trapeze artist, some are less obvious, like nodes for singers.  

Being the sibling of an autistic person can have it’s own set of “occupational hazards”.  Just like the occupational hazards in the work place, they come in lots of forms, and transpire over different durations of time.  Obviously they are not actually occupational hazards, as they are not associated with an occupation, but the same principle applies, except that they didn’t choose their relatives,  like most people choose their occupation.  These family hazards can be potentially physically damaging.   Some example would be the time Holden pulled a knife on his brother.  There was also the fun time when Holden set the toaster over on fire.  The other day we were driving in the truck, and Holden asked to sit up front for a change.  Zane was nice enough to oblige his little brother, and as our truck is older, and doesn’t have air bags, I thought nothing of it, until Holden recognized where we were and grabbed the steering wheel, trying to direct us to Vons.  There are also emotional hazards, like Zane feeling neglected and less important than Holden, because I have to stop helping him with his homework ,so I can put the fire out in the toaster over.  I joke about it, but I am always putting out some figurative fire, and often having to interrupt something I am doing with Zane to do so.  Often where we go is dictated by how difficult it would be to take Holden with us.  For instance Zane loves Chaucer’s Books store, as do I, but with it’s narrow paths, and books staked everywhere, I literally have to put Holden on my shoulders and hold his hands, otherwise he is grabbing everything.  For obvious reasons I prefer not to go there with Holden.

The one family hazard that I never expected, was Zane’s over sensitivity to labels, and the need to label himself.  The other day he told me that he thinks he is ADHD.  I asked him why, and he explained why to me.  I assured him that he was not ADHD, and that the things he was regarding, are things that everybody has to deal with.  I further explained the effects of ADHD, and soon enough he agreed that he was not.  He also once thought he might be OCD.  Once again, at the time, I explained that everyone has OCD tendencies, and explained the difference between tendencies and clinical OCD.  The fact is he would probably have no idea what any of these terms even are, if he didn’t have an autistic little brother.  As parents and advocates for our children with autism spectrum disorders, we are constantly talking about these conditions as they apply to our children, we have to.  It is part of the process of helping them deal with their behaviours, by isolating the reason for each behaviour and replacing it with an appropriate behaviour.  It means dissecting all of Holden’s behaviours so as to know why he is doing them.  Is he stemming? In sensory over load? Is he obsessing? Is he seeking attention?  We all talk about it, Holden’s teachers, his therapists, his mother and me.  Zane hears us discussing all this minutia about Holden, and try to label this minutia everyday.  It’s no wonder he starts to see them in himself.  When dealing with Holden’s issues at the micro level we have to deal with it at, it is easy to take it out of context.  When I explain to Zane why Holden is having a melt down, I do it so he understands, but by doing so in a situational instance, it is easy for Zane to take it out of context.  It is a tricky balance, wanting Zane to understand his brother and empathize, but at the same time not make him into a neurological hypochondriac.  

As is often the case, information and education is always the best solution.  Zane has to live with these terms around him all the time, so it is important to give him a general understanding of the terms, so that situational usages don’t get misconstrued.  When he thought he might be OCD, his mother and I explained how debilitating  clinical OCD is, and that someone with clinical OCD often requires therapy just to interact in society.  His mother has worked with OCD people before, and explained the daily battles those clients face.  Likewise, I explained the condition, and how it presents for ADHD and ADD.  With this general understanding, Zane was able to easily remove these labels from himself, and not worry about them anymore.  It may not be the same as being a crab fisherman on the Bering Sea, but the Hazards that Zane is exposed too can be very devastating to his mental and physical health.  They are hazards that all families face, but with special circumstances.  They are all part of the ever changing saga that is Autism and my two boys.