Seabiscuit to the rescue

Quite often when we are out and about, Holden will choose to ride on my shoulders.  It is not unusual to see us walking around our neighborhood, hiking all around San Diego county, walking along the beach in Solana Beach, or shopping at Frys, Albertson’s, or even the Carlsbad outlet mall with Holden riding up there..  We get some pretty odd looks, and lots of comments when we hike this way.  Here I am trekking up a mountain with a 60 lb six year old on my shoulders.  I have even had hikers ask if they can have a ride. This actually has some advantages for me.  For one thing he is controlled, he can certainly climb down on his own, but I know when he is doing that.  It also keeps his hands out of reach of things, as he will get very grabby when we are in stores.  (Actually, once Holden and I were waiting for his bus in the morning, when a girl came jogging by with her dog.  Holden was on my shoulders, and he reached out and touched her face. Understandably she got very upset.  She swung around and started yelling every four letter word you could think of.  I tried to apologize, but before I could explain anything, that I was sorry, that Holden was autistic, she was gone.  I felt terrible and the whole thing stuck with me for a few weeks.  To my surprise, about three weeks later, we were waiting for the bus again, when someone stopped and started talking to me.  It was the same jogger and her dog.  She apologized for over reacting, and expressed that she had been attracted once, and was still haunted by that.  I told her there was nothing to apologize for, she certainly deserved her person space, and explained that Holden was autistic, and didn’t mean any harm.  She felt very bad, and looked on the verge of tears, but I assured her that she had every right to be upset, irrelevant of the circumstance.  She occasionally jogs by and says hi now!).   It is also exercise for me, and lets face it, as we get older, it is harder to keep our guts from growing, while our hair is receding.  There have been a remarkable number of detractors to his riding on my shoulders.  Some people think he is too old and too big for such things.  He also is unaware that he can potentially hurt me, and has in fact done so a few times. However, I enjoy the closeness.  I am very lucky that Holden is an autistic child that doesn’t mind physical contact, and is very affectionate.  I can’t imagine what it is like to have a child fall down and scrap his knee, and when you go to put your arms around him, and comfort him, he starts freaking out even more.  That would truly break my heart.  Holden loves to be tickled, held, carried, and freely gives kisses.

Holden will often ask to go for a walk.  One would think this means that he wants to get out, stretch his legs, and see the world.  Well, some of that is true.  His idea of a walk, is to get down the drive way, and almost past our property, then say “Shoulders”.  This is my cue to let him scramble up on my shoulders, and enjoy the rest of the walk with a view.  His mom once made a great observation: when Holden’s world is still, he is all over the place, but when Holden’s world is moving, he loves to go along for the ride.  So for the most part, he hangs out, pulling leaves off of trees and trying to taste them, but I try to grab them before he can.  He pulls my hair, sticks leaves in my hair, and sometimes rocks back and forth.  There is one thing he does that drives me crazy.  He will grab my head and turn it in the direction he wants me to walk.  To which I express loudly, “Don’t steer me!”  To which he says “This way” twisting my head in the direction he wants to go.  I feel like Seabiscuit.  One day for fathers day, he’ll give me those things to limit my field of view.