Holden loves his big brother! For his part, Zane can be very mean to his little brother. Sometimes I think I am a little over protective of Holden for two reasons. The first one is obvious, he has a disability. However, I grew up in a home with all neuro-typical kids, and I was the little brother, and there were times when my brothers could be very cruel to me. I don’t think they appreciated the potential damage they did to their little brother, physically and emotionally. There is no question that Zane doesn't understand Holden’s autism completely, and can get annoyed with him, for a multitude of reasons. He often complains that he wished Holden were a “normal” little brother. I think if Holden were a neuro-typical little brother, that Zane would spend a lot more time in trouble then he already does. Neuro-typical or not, big brothers seem to think that little brothers exist to annoy them, and that they are their personal toys to torture as they feel fit. They always feel that the little brother is more loved then they are, and that the little brother is more spoiled then they are. Holden has very simple needs, and there is no way that Holden is more spoiled then Zane. Zane was also the only child for 4 years, and I can assure you my financial situation was much better at that point and time, and Zane reaped the benefits of that.
Now I have been brutally honest in this blog, and I can tell you, I was a much more annoying little brother then Holden is. I would go out of my way to antagonize my brothers, to make up for the abuse they put me through (One of my brothers played football, and the other wrestled, and they are 4 and 5 years older then me. I was their favorite practice dummie). I had no problem running and hiding behind my mom's skirt, when I pushed to far. The fact is, there were plenty of times when mom wasn’t around and they took full advantage of her absence. Growing up I was NOT a morning person, and my brothers found it great sport to push my buttons as often as possible in the anti meridian hours of the day. We had some pretty brutal fights as kids, that led to broken walls, doors, wooden spoons, and occasionally bones. Almost every major injury I sustained as a child, was at the hands of one of my brothers. Whether on accident or on purpose, I can attribute two broken bones (One of which was a broken arm requiring setting, WITHOUT anaesthesia. Please take my word for it, you do not want a bone set without anaesthesia, I was 10 years old at the time), 16 stitches, several yellow jacket bites, and a fear of closed places, to my brothers. Of course, they sustained their fair share of injuries too. My older brother broke his own hand miss hitting me once. We were on a first name basis with the Emergency Room staff at Goleta Valley Hospital. Yet through it all, we could be very protective of one another. Jumping to the defence of the same sibling that just stuck our head through a wall the day before.
I am beginning to see that protectiveness in Zane. I related a news story I was reading the other night, about an eleven year old autistic child that was punched, kicked and choked while screaming for mercy, by a bus driver and assistant. Zane became very upset, and had some rather unkind words, and suggestions for the bus driver and assistant. In retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have even mentioned the whole thing to Zane, but I expressed my own shock out loud when I read the article, and he asked what it was. I completely agree with some of Zane’s suggestions for the two people, and had a few of my own, however, being a parent, I expressed that it was the job of the legal system to find fit punishment for them. In reality there probably isn’t a “fit” punishment, but that is another subject. I think Zane was so affected, as was I, because of Holden. Certainly neither of us would condone that, even if we didn’t have Holden in our lives. The fact is, I put Holden on a bus every morning, and Zane often watches me. Like myself, he could very easily see the same thing happening to our Holden, and Holden not having a voice to defend himself.
Despite Zane’s ability to be mean to his brother, I think when in need, Zane will have Holden’s back. I hope as Zane matures, and as Holden progresses, that they become closer. That they learn to enjoy each others company. At the very least, I hope they are as fiercely protective of each other, as my brothers and I were growing up!
Now I have been brutally honest in this blog, and I can tell you, I was a much more annoying little brother then Holden is. I would go out of my way to antagonize my brothers, to make up for the abuse they put me through (One of my brothers played football, and the other wrestled, and they are 4 and 5 years older then me. I was their favorite practice dummie). I had no problem running and hiding behind my mom's skirt, when I pushed to far. The fact is, there were plenty of times when mom wasn’t around and they took full advantage of her absence. Growing up I was NOT a morning person, and my brothers found it great sport to push my buttons as often as possible in the anti meridian hours of the day. We had some pretty brutal fights as kids, that led to broken walls, doors, wooden spoons, and occasionally bones. Almost every major injury I sustained as a child, was at the hands of one of my brothers. Whether on accident or on purpose, I can attribute two broken bones (One of which was a broken arm requiring setting, WITHOUT anaesthesia. Please take my word for it, you do not want a bone set without anaesthesia, I was 10 years old at the time), 16 stitches, several yellow jacket bites, and a fear of closed places, to my brothers. Of course, they sustained their fair share of injuries too. My older brother broke his own hand miss hitting me once. We were on a first name basis with the Emergency Room staff at Goleta Valley Hospital. Yet through it all, we could be very protective of one another. Jumping to the defence of the same sibling that just stuck our head through a wall the day before.
I am beginning to see that protectiveness in Zane. I related a news story I was reading the other night, about an eleven year old autistic child that was punched, kicked and choked while screaming for mercy, by a bus driver and assistant. Zane became very upset, and had some rather unkind words, and suggestions for the bus driver and assistant. In retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have even mentioned the whole thing to Zane, but I expressed my own shock out loud when I read the article, and he asked what it was. I completely agree with some of Zane’s suggestions for the two people, and had a few of my own, however, being a parent, I expressed that it was the job of the legal system to find fit punishment for them. In reality there probably isn’t a “fit” punishment, but that is another subject. I think Zane was so affected, as was I, because of Holden. Certainly neither of us would condone that, even if we didn’t have Holden in our lives. The fact is, I put Holden on a bus every morning, and Zane often watches me. Like myself, he could very easily see the same thing happening to our Holden, and Holden not having a voice to defend himself.
Despite Zane’s ability to be mean to his brother, I think when in need, Zane will have Holden’s back. I hope as Zane matures, and as Holden progresses, that they become closer. That they learn to enjoy each others company. At the very least, I hope they are as fiercely protective of each other, as my brothers and I were growing up!
No comments:
Post a Comment