Recently I have read about a lot of people either eliminating “friends” off their social networking sites, or thinking about it. I read one post from someone that said something to the effect of “Congratulations, if you are reading this, you made the cut!” Certainly this is not a new concept, since the song Auld Lang Syne dates back to 1788(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Auld_Lang_Syne), and it having existed as a poem before that. The song asks “Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind?” Certainly social networking has made it easy to get in touch with old friends. We all have heard of, or lived through, some of the consequences of those reunions, good or bad. I could probably write a whole book filled with accounts of peoples lives being changed forever from social networking. Then there are those people that just sort of pop up in your life again, in actuality, or in reference. I was visiting with my mother the other day, and out of the blue she asks me if I remember the time I had been riding in a car, and the rear wheel fell off. I hadn’t thought about that day in years, nor the guy who was driving the car. Then two days later I read a post about him, and a new project he is working on, and the next day even more about that project. Here is someone I had not thought of in quite a while, suddenly being thrust into my life several times in one week. I tend to think things like this happen for a reason, but irrelevant of an reason, it certainly made me think of an old friend whom I have not thought of in a long time, and I am sure has not thought of me either. So do we have a choice in who we keep in our lives and don’t, or are certain people going to be coming back into our lives over and over again. After all isn’t there only “Six degrees of separation” from everybody?
As is often the case, things seem to be much different for Holden. I can’t even begin to guess how Holden’s memory works, but it seems he associates names with ideas, almost like we do with objects. Like for instance “Jenna” is someone that teaches him, loves him and makes him happy to see. However, if he were to run into Jenna tomorrow, I doubt he would know who she is, yet he talks about her all the time. Jenna was his preschool teacher, and is first real teacher, that was with him for a whole school year. He has since called all of his teachers Jenna, at some point or another. In fact, I think it is a compliment if as a teacher of Holden, you reach the status of “Jenna” in Holden’s mind. I think “Jenna” has become a concept to Holden, not a person, even though it is a person. The same can be said for “Ester”, his first daycare provider. He has since called other childcare centers Ester. In fact, when he is sick of me being strict with him all the time, and not getting away with not talking, he will ask for “Ester”. I believe to him this is the concept of loose childcare. Where he can get away with not having to talk, and being underestimated. It is a place where he knows he can get away with manipulating people, based on their lack of knowledge of his abilities. The thing is, Holden knows his teachers actual name, just as he knew his nannies names, and the name of the few daycare centers he went to. Somehow though, some people, turn into concepts in his mind. They become an idea, rather then a person. To some extent we do the same thing. “Mom” doesn’t have to mean our biological mother, it can me the person who mothers us. I don’t think it is quite the same for Holden though, I think it is on a different level. I think sometimes these single names, take on concepts of great detail for him.
When I worked with Developmentally disabled kids, I was always amazed by the way their memories worked. I remember this one kid coming up to me one day, and saying “Remember the day we met, it was Wednesday, and we went fishing.” He probably couldn’t have told me the year we met, or the month, or the season, but he knew it was a Wednesday. At the time I could have given a rough approximation of how much time had elapsed since we met, I would have know the month and year, and certainly the season, but I would have no clue what day of the week it was. That was the way his mind worked though.
So try as me may, to let old acquaintances be forgotten, we might just find we can’t even if we want to. Or we might find that we no longer are a person in the mind of Holden, but rather a concept. An idea that caries so much more meaning to him then the name of an individual. That is not to say that individuals are not important to Holden, they are. but for some reason some people become more then just people, they become definitions, concepts in a very complicated structure that is Holden's mind.
As is often the case, things seem to be much different for Holden. I can’t even begin to guess how Holden’s memory works, but it seems he associates names with ideas, almost like we do with objects. Like for instance “Jenna” is someone that teaches him, loves him and makes him happy to see. However, if he were to run into Jenna tomorrow, I doubt he would know who she is, yet he talks about her all the time. Jenna was his preschool teacher, and is first real teacher, that was with him for a whole school year. He has since called all of his teachers Jenna, at some point or another. In fact, I think it is a compliment if as a teacher of Holden, you reach the status of “Jenna” in Holden’s mind. I think “Jenna” has become a concept to Holden, not a person, even though it is a person. The same can be said for “Ester”, his first daycare provider. He has since called other childcare centers Ester. In fact, when he is sick of me being strict with him all the time, and not getting away with not talking, he will ask for “Ester”. I believe to him this is the concept of loose childcare. Where he can get away with not having to talk, and being underestimated. It is a place where he knows he can get away with manipulating people, based on their lack of knowledge of his abilities. The thing is, Holden knows his teachers actual name, just as he knew his nannies names, and the name of the few daycare centers he went to. Somehow though, some people, turn into concepts in his mind. They become an idea, rather then a person. To some extent we do the same thing. “Mom” doesn’t have to mean our biological mother, it can me the person who mothers us. I don’t think it is quite the same for Holden though, I think it is on a different level. I think sometimes these single names, take on concepts of great detail for him.
When I worked with Developmentally disabled kids, I was always amazed by the way their memories worked. I remember this one kid coming up to me one day, and saying “Remember the day we met, it was Wednesday, and we went fishing.” He probably couldn’t have told me the year we met, or the month, or the season, but he knew it was a Wednesday. At the time I could have given a rough approximation of how much time had elapsed since we met, I would have know the month and year, and certainly the season, but I would have no clue what day of the week it was. That was the way his mind worked though.
So try as me may, to let old acquaintances be forgotten, we might just find we can’t even if we want to. Or we might find that we no longer are a person in the mind of Holden, but rather a concept. An idea that caries so much more meaning to him then the name of an individual. That is not to say that individuals are not important to Holden, they are. but for some reason some people become more then just people, they become definitions, concepts in a very complicated structure that is Holden's mind.
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